silver_flame_ca

Various things to be proud of today...

Such as how I resisted any boxing day shopping (mostly because I shopped myself out buying for others and myself before Christmas).

How I have not cracked open all of my candy yet.

How I didn't get myself involved in situations that are not mine to interfere in. When the ex is contacting you, wanting to socialize and flirt. The ex who is engaged.
And when you back away and stay away, because that is not your shit to deal with. And when he comes to his own conclusion and breaks that engagement off without any input from you. Tho you may have vented to your manager days before that they were probably not going to last, well, that manager was miles away and was not going to interfere either. I'm so proud of myself. I wanted her to get her comeuppance for stealing him away, for flirting, for inviting him out to fucking stargaze and picnic. But at the same time, I just... couldn't. It wasn't my place. At some point people have gotta figure their own lives out without a new prospect waiting in the wings. If you're not happy you're not happy, and you can't always wait for a new old romance to admit this to yourself.

Am I good at reading people or just my ex? Or is the ex just that predictable? I knew when he was starting to get feelings for the shark. I knew when he was about to get engaged to her. I knew when they were about to break up. I'm smug and I really shouldn't be. I'm sure I'm just as predictable if he cared to notice. If he cared to figure out that at some point I wasn't going to jump back into things and that I would have had enough. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm over him, more that I'm over it.

And for now, that's enough. I've been able to put my life back together, and myself too. There are still massive self-esteem issues, but those date back years and are not simply going to go away because I told myself to be happy. But I can be happy at least, and I can have a job, and I can get great grades in school, and I can continue to better myself because in the end that's all that matters. And once the pieces form a more coherent whole, maybe just maybe I can better someone else too.

Captain America was great!! It made me realize that some good old action is what has been missing from Marvel's latest offerings. Don't get me wrong, I adored Thor and Iron Man 2 and the humour and dialogue of those, but man the good old fashioned action of Captain America was awesome.

And now alas, I will work for 8 days in a row (*twitch twitch*) and then Fringe happens, so there will be little time for movies. But that's okay cause 2012 is where it's going to be at. Avengers, Star Trek (supposedly??), The Wolverine, who knows what else.

Post summer I am taking several uni classes, complete with giant scary textbooks. Trying to figure out what dance classes to take in the evening because my seasonal job will only have a few hours for me during the day once fall hits.

Oh, wow, my dog is being noisy right now. Well, her or one of the neighbours many dogs.

And the world is possibility/
And the world is made of energy/
And there's a light inside of you/
And there's a light inside of me/
It's gonna be alright/
We're gonna see the sunlight

I love happy songs.

I also love summer. It is the perfect weather around here right now. Warm, but not too hot. Often a bit of a breeze, which is great for bike riding. Sun shining down, lighting up the evenings for walks home.

My job is good. Everyone there is lovely. Coworkers and guests alike. The tourists seem far less bitchy/stressy than the ones who would come to the tourist stores I used to work at. I also have a more varied job and many new things to learn.

Econ is still hard. I mean, the assignment grades so far are A/A+ level, but the answers really have to be thought through. 'Thinking like an economist' (*barf*) does not come easily to me. It doesn't help that I greatly resent the way the textbook tries to indoctrinate people into that way of thinking, and how the authors are completely unabashed about this fact.

Dance class is going well. I finally got a combo I'd been having trouble with, thanks to a new girl who joined who is even less experienced than me. Having the pressure taken off that I would not be the worst one gave me the confidence to simply let the muscle memory take over.
I had a chance to go the rink (it's harder these days when I get weekends off and there aren't any sessions then) and I have not lost any of my skills, even the newer ones, which was nice news.

So this one's kind of silly... since as of today I can cross off things like being able to see well enough to drive without glasses and getting a summer job.
- that Captain America and The Avengers are as good as the movies that came before them
- that this season of Doctor Who starts to make sense at some point
- that I don't completely flunk econ, because ya know, that would be uncool folks, uncool
- that one day I will make tiramisu, which is my Everest as far as baking is concerned
- that I will own and decorate a house without a speck of white in sight
- that I will not give up on my hobbies
- that I will get further on that 100 book list that's floating around Facebook (30+ right now, haha, thank you AP lit class)
- that I will find some bigger dreams and stop being held back. I don't want my life to be 9-5 work where that's the biggest thing I have going for me.

~~~~~~~~~

My parents and I went out for brunch the other day. There was a cake 'from a local bakery.' I did not ask which, but I should have. I need that cake in my life.

I have been cleared to drive. Ahahaha. Oh dear. Bye bye money, I will miss you. :( (Srsly, why are cars and gas and insurance and tires and maintenance so freaking expensive? I am disgusted by the associated costs. Do you know how many taxis and bus rides you could take instead? I bet it's a lot.)

I am bad at this blogging thing these days. I used to write all the time in high school. Oh, the mundane dramas of high school. I feel very old when I think of back then, how long (over 5 years, ugh) ago it was. Then I feel better when I realize that most of my grad class is in a similar position to me. How many of us are running off for second degrees or phds or med school or law school to put off the 'real world'? Perhaps if jobs could guarantee the kind of vacations and flexibility and life you get while in school than more people would be interested in jumping into the work force. But it won't happen because alas most of the world revolves around M-F 9-5, 2-3 weeks vacation.

And I'm going to throw this in here because it will be short.
List 11. Date Night Ideas:
- Chinese food
- going to see local culture and activities
- hanging out on a walk
(yah I don't really care to put any thought into this one right now)

So last post can cover Sunday and today will be for today (Monday)...
List 8 is In My Bag... oh, how exciting
- lip balm/gloss
- wallet(s) (one with money, and sometimes also my membership card wallet)
- cellphone with id cards in the case
- mp3 player
those are the essentials and take up more room than they ought to. I may also bring sunglasses, glasses (but not anymore, hahaha), or a pencil and pen.

On the subject of the Royal Mint medallions that were mentioned before... I am desperately sad that the Doctor Who coins are sold only to the UK.. And I'm not about to go trying to ask my family over there to buy them for me. But bah, don't they know what a market for that there is in NA now that they've introduced the show out here? It's so popular now that the channels over here even air the episodes at the same time as the UK, rather than waiting a week or few days.

And it's now technically tomorrow any ways.

Ugh, that moment when you are just trying to get into your washroom to brush your teeth and a huge spider scurries out of it instead. It was moving so quickly that I thought for sure it was a piece of dust, but no it was a huge spider. One that resisted being hit by my slipper and instead tried to scurry onto said slipper and I had to hit it with the other one. I'm still freaking out, does it show? Haha.

I think this in the biggest sign that the cats are getting really old. These giant, over an inch *sob sob* spiders have only been appearing for the last 6-8 months. And all in the same area. First there was the fun times of the one on the curtain, the *curtain* for gods sake. It was a spider, not a kitten, what was it doing climbing the curtain? And the one on the side of my filing box that I was able to whack with a shoe. Normal spiders just hang out on the floor or ceilings, but not these mutant giant ones that clearly know my weaknesses.

I should go back in there now... ( I don't want to... )

And that's all the German numbers my friends would teach me, I was that bad at pronunciation.

List 4. Today's Playlist:
Glee - I Feel Pretty/Unpretty
Glee - Born This Way
Glee - Somewhere Only We Know (<3)
Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling
Charlene Kaye/Darren Criss - Dress and Tie
I could go on, but you get the picture.

The Canucks seem to be winning at hockey. If only I could bring myself to care. Oh, well, I guess if I did I'd just be labelled as jumping on the bandwagon. I think I liked hockey more when in Ottawa, because the team was actually in the city and I went to a game. I went with others and we'd picked out a player ahead of time who seemed likeable/hot and decided to cheer for him. That added a fun twist. It's also easier to get into the spirit when all the stores are selling merch and Elgin is plastered with red. I actually found my old Sens shirt the other day, maybe I should wear it to annoy people here.

So, once again taking my cues from the lighthearted nature of the list here, I present Things I'm Good At:
- making cupcakes
- balancing on figure skates
- horse riding at the walk or trot
- being awkward
- accounting
- seeing the pessimistic side of life
- alphabetizing and organizing stuff
- getting through video games by following a walkthrough

I totally missed that on March 30 a new trailer for Doctor Who came out. It looks sooo good!
I am very excited! The first episodes are set in the States and then at some point there's a pirate ship involved. And some super creepy aliens and spacemen (like the spooky spacesuits in the Library 2-parter).

I'm almost done with uni degree, well, classes are done, exams are not. I got into UBC for the program to become a real estate appraiser. I start via distance this summer and eventually will come out with a diploma, a certificate, and a certification (well, there's some other requirements outside of UBC to fulfill for that bit, like mentoring, interviews, exams, and seminars). The classes for the program are apparently difficult so you can only start with 1 a semester, then 3 after. I get to start with bloody econ. This program is pitch perfect except for the whole econ bit. It took me 3 tries to get through economic geog. But aside from that I get to study law, business, stats (yay hope it is as fun as the ones I've taken before), real estate, geog and urban issues.

They are not kidding about difficult tho. In one class a mere 10% of your grade goes towards a project that is: a few case studies, a property inspection, a physical site analysis, and a research paper. All of that gets you a whopping 10%. That's like the work I'm used to for 70-100% of a grade... In the business classes I've taken, a case study alone is worth 10-20%. Unless, the research paper is really short or something?

I do adore the extensive FAQ... an example, "why is this class so difficult?" *sigh* I think I can answer that: It's university, not high school.
Well, they also have to stand up as part of the preparation for the certification process. At some point I have to find a mentor to train me for a couple of years. But hey, the website for the association has multiple videos by people and one guy already had his own business. Eventually being able to set my own hours? Awesome!

My cat won't leave me alone. This makes doing anything at my desk take longer.

I finished the Harry Potter reread finally. I'm listening to music from A Very Potter Musical/Sequel in honour. Hehehe and to make up for the fact that Glee was pushed back a week, so it's another week till more Darren Criss/Blaine. I can't believe he wrote much of that Potter music.

Ugh, I should get back to trying to decipher my notes and figure out which slides they refer to. At least I got a great grade on the art hist essay. When the prof gave it back she was very happy that at least one person had written on the topic I'd picked. I picked it because it was one of the only secular topics on the list and because by being on Byzantine town planning it fit with my degree. She thought I must have been an anthro major and was hoping I could continue the research at some point. I think I'd have to wait a few years tho. I scoured much of the material that was out there and it even said that not enough research had been done into that topic yet. When you've hit the point that you're reading papers that are simply citing each other... yah... :\

OK, the cat has left, time to get up. At least all she does is sit on me. The other one was nipping my arm when I tried to sit on the couch to read Harry Potter earlier.

My mood's uncomfterable because I have popcorn stuck between my teeth and I tried flossing, brushing, etc, but it wouldn't come out! It feels nasty.

I love Fridays, school starts late, gets out early. I had math first, what a way to start the day, and after spending all of last evening doing my math homework and journals it turns out that we didn't even have to hand in our notebooks!!! I thought I was pretty much screwed for the math test because I didn't fill in the scantron right, so I had to go up and get another one, than I messed that one up too...and ended up scribbling all over some of the little circles, making them totally incorrect. Than, a brillant idea, I will borrow an eraser from the cute guy in front of me (that 2 of my other friends have crushes on as well, go figure) His eraser turned out to be like the best eraser ever! It erased everything, even my scribbles and dark writing, but than I messed up the scantron again (I was having a BAD class) so this time I scratched the mark out with my nails and it actually worked, there is now a big white spot on my scantron, hehe.

In CaPP we had to watch the end of the fat people video (we were also supposed to finish the essay but I didn't...) and it had nudity! Nudity is bad! (Unless it's a hot guy and you don't see anything) But fat people nudity is worse! Gross!!! I am scarred for life!!! I wasn't going to watch the nude parts (the teacher warned us) but than I heard people groaning and going eww so I turned and looked and yuck!!! After the movie was over these guys gathered in front of my at one of their friends desk and started talking about how one of them had downloaded this program that brings up porn, but when someone comes in you just press the space bar and it goes to a predetermined page (sports, news, etc) Those guys need to get a LIFE!!! At the end of class my crush (everyone knows who CaPP class crush is right? No names please! Never know who might be reading) and some of his friends gathered behind my desk and stared at the surface of a desk, commenting on it... what is up with that?

After CaPP I went down the hall to wait for Nicolle and Sefi to get out of their art class (the teacher held them up for some reason) and then I walked with Sefi to her locker and he was going down the hall and he smiled at me. I was happy and Sefi said I was blushing!! I don't blush!!! I went up to the cafeteria with Sefi and we met Eve there and waited in line for hot dogs, drinks (ICE cold Pepsi, yum!), and donuts. After that lunch was pretty much uneventful, except for the stupid people who wouldn't listen to us telling them that the bathroom door was locked, no, they had to try it for themselves... maybe next time they'll believe us and we can tell them that it's locked when it's not and we'll have the bathroom to ourselves.

At stagecraft nothing much happened, Kat and I now think that this guy likes this girl in stagecraft, which is weird cause she is at least a year younger than him. We couldn't present out project (written concept, set design, lighting design, prop list, costumes, etc for a play) in stagecraft because Peter and Becca weren't there and Peter had most of our stuff.

In Japanese we got review sheets for the test that's coming up, I had thought that the test was today, but it turns out that's it next week.

I have to have fish and chips for dinner, blech! The chips are okay but the fish is yucky! I used to like it, but now I think it's gross, especially when you find shiny silver scales left on it!!!! Eww!!!

This post is really really LONG!!! I'd better end it.